I accidentally had phone sex last night
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
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I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
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We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
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