I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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