Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
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