So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
i think i have two assholes
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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