Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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