Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
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