PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
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He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
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There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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