Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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