Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
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