Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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