I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
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