was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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