First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize