Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
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