When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
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