What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
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She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
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