Your dad touched me again.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
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