And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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