You can't special order awesome
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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