having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
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Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
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I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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