The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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