i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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