ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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