Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize