exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
This toilet bowl is my home.
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