I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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