im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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