weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
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I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
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I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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