My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
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