I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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