If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
that's an acceptable place to lick
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
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Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
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