You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
