why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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