Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize