I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
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