Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize