Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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