Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
