help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
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Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
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thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
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