i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize