help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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