I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
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