Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
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