So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
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i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
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I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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