the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
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