So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
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