I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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