I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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