i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize