Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
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