Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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